When is divorce biblical?
You never thought you would struggle with this question.
At some point, you cannot take it anymore. You see the patterns and no real change. There is no peace. Being in a toxic marriage is already mind-altering. So how can we apply the topic of divorce and separation with Biblical clarity? Only you know when you need to walk away. But resources can guide you on your path.
know the word of god
Remember: "...we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against [evil] principalities/ powers"
Therefore, put on the ARMOR OF GOD.
Part of your armor is the sword of the Spirit / the Word of God.
Are you ready?
When Jesus was tempted on the mountain, He used verses against Satan. He modeled our need to be armed with Biblical truth. Abusive people often manipulate the truth and hijack your mind. Victims often adapt to a warped reality with a survival mentality, often grounded in lies that they believe. The Bible tells us who we are in Christ. You can attack the evil enemy- not your spouse- with Biblical truths. You can firmly ground yourself in Biblical reasons for your worthy and precious life. Our loving and merciful Father will lead our minds to strengthen and grow spiritually, even in the midst of a toxic marriage.
If that leads to walking away from a destructive marriage, the well-meaning Christian community may not always understand it and may even say things like " But God hates divorce." Yes, and God also hates adultery, oppression/abuse, and many other sins. Plan to dive into Gods' word to gain an understanding of Biblical truths about this subject and better equip yourself to boldly respond in truth and love. And, arm yourself with the Word of God so He alone can lead you on a worthy path forward.
This path forward is designed to glorify Him regardless of your decision.
Renew your own mind with biblical truth about your situation
Let's face it- not all churches and churchgoers are able to handle the topic of abuse well.
If you are in a toxic marriage, only you can ultimately decide what you need to do. The key will be that you exercise regular renewing of your mind with scripture on your own time. While you heal, and hopefully with the help of Godly counsel, keep reading the Word of God to strengthen you. You will know the voice of God in your personal decisions based on the peace that comes with His voice. You will feel burdened and uneasy when the Holy Spirit is giving you signs that something is not of God. Pray for discernment so you will know the difference.