The challenging topic of
Sexual abuse
This page gives cadence to the fact that the dark evil of sexual abuse exists. It happens both in and outside of marriages. Shame traps the victim into silence. But, speaking up puts light on this darkness, and is the key to healing in God's love.
"Sin's power is in secrecy. God's power is in the light. If you want to heal, you need to reveal."
Pastor Matt Brown, Sandals Church Sermon 2018
Reveal
First: ask for wisdom from God on how and to whom you can reveal
Take God with you on this painful journey. He will guide you. Not everyone who says their Christian can be trusted, because not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" knows Jesus. The Bible warns us of wolves disguised as sheep's clothing. This includes people with spiritual authority who abuse or perpetuate on victims of abuse. Jesus said "it would be better for [them] if a milestone were hung around [their] neck and [they] were thrown into the sea, than that [they] would cause one of these little ones to stumble." Luke 17:2
Recognize that some may need to report to the authority
You should not be afraid of this fact. Work through that fear in order to heal. There is a reason that reporting is important. In America, there are laws about reporting to protect the innocent among us. Outside of marriage, sexual abusers are typically repeating sinful behavior that hurt other people and even children. If they never get reported, more people end up suffering. In marriage, there may be fear that stops people from reporting (fear of loss of job, home, family). As painful as it may be, reporting helps everyone to heal, and the abuser to potentially repent.
Surround yourself with support
Do not hold on to the past, or it will hold on to you. Be bold and brave. Have courage. Seek those who can help. You can start with people who are trained to listen, such as experienced therapists and counselors. And, these people can help to guide you on your path forward.
Ways the church can Help
Pastor Matt Brown, his wife Tammy Brown and worship leader Christina Crowley talk about sexual abuse
Two brave women talk about their experiences with childhood abuse, how they suffered, but ultimately healed, through God's redeeming love. Pastor Brown instructs the church on how to listen, respond, report, and help people heal on this journey.
Links to Biblical responses to sexual assault
Sexual abuse in marriage- something you may have never thought about
Sexual abuse in marriage- something you may have never thought about
Sexual abuse in marriage- something you may have never thought about
Many women who are in destructive marriages feel emotionally unsafe to be physically intimate with their partners. In turn, partners who abuse may use the same tactics to control and manipulate their spouse into having sex. Some will even threaten and cause non-consenting sex- which is a crime. See an example of this in Leslie Vernick’s blog, and the Biblical response to this important and often overlooked issue.
God believes the victim
Sexual abuse in marriage- something you may have never thought about
Sexual abuse in marriage- something you may have never thought about
When a person is raped, it’s a nightmare that goes beyond the physical pain. And, the aftermath may be worse, especially if the person they trust with their story does not believe them. This adds insult onto a painful injury. The good news is God believes them. Our loving father set the example of Christ to stand up for those who are oppressed. And, we should too.
Talk, report and have no fear
Sexual abuse in marriage- something you may have never thought about
Talk, report and have no fear
Victims of sexual abuse often fear speaking, feel shame, and guilt, though nothing was their fault. Nothing. No amount of poor choice of clothing, alcohol, or past ever justifies the abuse. This is not the person’s fault- period. Even more saddening is the abuse on children. If this happened to you, know that it was never ok and not your fault. And, your path forward will need healing these painful wounds.
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